*As my defeated bug minions scurry across the map, fearing the harsh swords of the legions behind them, I think to myself, shouldn't I blog more?*
This was quite literally the thought in my head as I was brutally destroyed yesterday in a game of Starcraft II. And I'm really good at that game. Like absurdly good. You think you're good at something, then multiply that by 10, then that's how good I am at Starcraft II.
But that's hardly relevant. I need a pulpit from which I can espouse my virtual thoughts! So here I am.
My thought of the day is this: High school is OVER.
I re-realized that on Saturday at Iowa State vs Missouri. (Which we won, crushingly. That's why your mascot shouldn't be a sick, half-bird half-tornado hybrid. Because you suck if you have mascots that look like confused Pokemon that got stuck halfway through evolution.) As Number 10 on their team (they may as well remain nameless, as that's what they'll be after they don't graduate and don't play in the NBA.) airballed an easy jumper from inside the 3 point line.
Zou Crew responded! Oh, how they did respond with their cutting mockery! Can you guess what they said?
"Airrrrballlll....Airrrrrballll"
Well done Zou Crew, well done. Maybe if your shirts didn't look so silly you would be better at ruthlessly taunting the other team. I recommend:
A. A name that has nothing to do with basketball.
B. A coordinated dance to a fight song.
C. Digging around in your cargo shorts to find your testicles, then re-attaching them. Another possibility may be your girlfriend's purse.
This post isn't hardly enough words, so I'll continue.
Do you notice how some people won't stop talking about high school? And it's never just a cool story like "this one time I chugged half a fifth of vodka and played chicken with a train" or "I once broke my spine in a pick-up game of football in the mud with Brett Favre." (The latter is a shout-out to Brandon Foster, who does all of us sports fans proud.)
No, it's a story about something funny one of their friends said once on a bus ride. Or it's the not-so-hilarious anecdote of an adorable child who, spoiler alert, does something adorable.
May I speak to all of you: Nobody gives a shit.
Some people may say I'm an asshole. But I just think I'm being more realistic than most people care to be. So that's your thought of the day: start living in the present. Cause the present is awesome.
Note: to my high school friends on Facebook (where a link to this will be posted) you can still live in high school. Just know it sucks.
